Black Nail Polish: Part 4; Permanently Painted


An Ode to a Black Rose.



Is beautiful

And horrifying

And Stagnant



At best

And worst;

Always Aflame





To Conspire



Is Self-Deprecating

And Convivial;

My Black Rose.


I think 4 months of black Nail Polish was necessary and productive but lacking progression. The color breeds compulsive ruminating, so I ruminated compulsively and tangibly about my relationship with the color and got a new tattoo last night.

It Was A Coverup

A coverup of my very first tattoo–14 years ago.

It Was A Memorial Tattoo

For my father who’s birthday is fast approaching: May 25th. He’s been gone for 14 years, as of January 12th, 2018–2 days after I started this blog.

It Was Terribly Misaligned

My uncle used to be a phenomenal tattoo artist in Kansas City, KS. He was supposed to give me my first tattoo, as he did fir my sisters, 2 years prior to my turning 18. Then dad died, 26 days after my 18th birthday and my uncle fell into methamphetamines.

The Artist Was An Apprentice

And I was a young girl, passionate for her first tattoo. I had the fever at an early age, before the first needle ever touched my skin. It was on my neck, so I didn’t notice how uneven it was until I got my first big piece on my back: circa 2013-14.

That heart will soon take on black shades; pink will never suit me again–except in bits. I have conspired against pink. This tattoo once symbolized my ex-fiancΓ©, stitching up my broken heart. But it didn’t even know what broken was, until I walked away from him.

Everything may not be “black and white”

But what if we allow red in?

4 thoughts on “Black Nail Polish: Part 4; Permanently Painted

Add yours

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss, I think that only know when the red can be let in. I understand loss and love sadly all to well. I feel you.. it takes time in 2007 just hours before my bday on 5/31 my Dad died very suddenly without any warning. β˜•πŸ–€β˜• Take care and you’ve made a new follower for sure. βœŒοΈπŸ–€ Benjamin.

    Liked by 1 person

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