An Attack

Morning meds…

Check.

Plenty of water…

Check.

Took a full Xanax, 20 minutes ago…

Check.

But…

Attack! Attack. Attack.

A neck shaking, feet quaking

Attack. Attack. Attack.

“Beautiful Koshi Bell’s Meditation”

Check.

Breathe in through your nose,

1,2,3,4

Breathe out through your mouth, as if blowing through a straw,

1,2,3,4,5

F***!!!!!!!!

Attack. Attack. Attack.

Panic, personified is beating me down.

I’m in some irrational,

“Subhuman state.”

Palms so sweaty, my toes attack the thick wool socks and shove them from my perspiring feet.

Voluntary shaking of the foot to get the energy out. F***ing, please, get out…

Someway

Somehow

But I continue

To quiver

And quake

And shake

My right hand, as I type these lines into my iPhone 7, is fighting with the rest of my weighted down arm.

But I have to to write it out.

Panic doesn’t come everyday anymore.

But when He visits.

He’s everywhere.

Head to toes.

Mind to Soul.

Cramping stomach

Breeds

Aching Back

And…

All of the above.

Attack.